FAQ

"I sent you an email on Saturday/Sunday but didn't get a response."
I do not count the weekends as part of the standard work week. I may or may not get back to you with a response, depending on my personal commitments or activities. If you email me over the weekend you may not get a response until Monday.

"I sent you an email at 11:00 p.m. and you didn't respond until the next day"
That sounds about right. While I tend to be a bit of an email junkie, I cannot promise responses to emails sent after 6:00 p.m.

"I had an urgent matter that I needed to speak to you about, but you did not return my email."
Do not rely on email for 'urgent' messages. If it is something that requires immediate contact with me, please phone me at home.

"I left a message at your office but you didn't get back to me for two days"
Depending on the semester, I may not be in my office on certain days or after a certain time. It is probably best to email me or phone me at home if you need an immediate response. If the issue is not urgent, then I will return the call once I have received the message.

"There are two weeks left in the course, and I am completely lost. What can I do"
Register for the course next semester. Don't wait until the last minute to ask for help. There is class time for questions, office hours, email, IM and phone. If you do not take advantage of these resources than you have only yourself to blame.

"I need to get an A, B, C etc., in this course"
Then you should probably study, avoid missing class, and ask questions.

"Do I need to purchase the textbook for this course"
No, I find that it is best to rely upon divine revelation or your own innate knowledge of the realm of the forms to be the best way to gain knowledge of course material.

"Do I really need to read the textbook?"
No, I find that simply placing the textbook under your pillow at night will allow the information to seep into your brain by osmosis.

"Do you grade on a curve?"
No. Grading on a curves seems to me to assume one of two things 1) the instructor does not know how to create a fair exam (clearly not a problem for me), or 2) that a student's understanding of the material should be evaluated relative to the understanding of other students (in other words I deserve an A because I achieved the best of the crappy grades). While I do not curve, I often add 2%-3% to a student's the final grade to account for any subjectivity in grading things like essays or short answer questions (e.g., I gave you a 75% when I could have easily given you a 77% on an essay).

"Do you allow tape/digital recorders in your class?"
No. (Not allowing recording devices in class provides me with plausible deniability regarding anything I may or may not have said in class). In rare instances, I do allow recording provided that students have a letter from Disability Services.

"Can my friend, brother, sister, significant other sit in on your class for a day?"
Yes, provided there are extra seats in the room.

"Do you accept late assignments?"
Yes, but depending upon the circumstances there may be a half letter grade deduction per day late.

"I don't have a lunch break, do you allow students to eat in class?"
Yes, but only if you bring enough for everyone. (Actually, you may eat in class, just try not to disturb your classmates, or more importantly me.)

"I missed class on M, T, W, Th, F, can you tell what I missed?"
No. It is your responsibility to get notes from your fellow students. I do post quick summaries of what was covered in a class or what we will be covering on the course Twitter page. Check your syllabus or my website for links to the updates.